So I came home from school a few days ago and found this on one of the cabinets in my house.
See about three years ago my parents decided to go on a big push to get healthy. At the time we were all really overweight, it was a good idea. Our motto became “Eat less. Exercise more.” This was reasonable, because we often had thirds in every meal, and I couldn’t run to my mail box without getting out of breath.
Since that time between the four members of my family we’ve lost a hundred and sixty pounds. I am muscled, curvy, and a weight I love. I exercise four days a week, usually boxing early in the morning before school. Usually in the course of a day I’ll eat two pieces of toast, a sandwich and a fruit, and a small piece of meet with a couple vegetables.
My parents are not impressed. At one time, they always repeated to me “healthy at any weight”, but now it has turned not to being healthy to be healthy, but lose weight lose weight lose weight.
My eleven year old sister and I have started working with each other to sneak food into our rooms that they won’t notice we’ve taken.
The other day, I didn’t wake up at five before school to work out, and my dad yelled at me, making me promise to work out an extra day that week.
My dad picks apart my lunch in the morning. Recently, they started giving me only half a sandwich.
A few days ago, my sister went to get a cheese stick after school, and my mother told her that if she ate it, it would be her entire dinner. My sister ate it, and didn’t get dinner.
My parents told me I need to get a personal trainer so I can “improve faster”.
My family has a history of eating disorders, and everyday my family seems more and more anorexic. I’m scared for both myself and my younger sister. Both of us try to not eat, because we get approval from our parents for being “more healthy”.
I’ve stopped eating lunch, trying to loose weight so that they will be nicer to me.
I don’t think my parents realize that they’re fostering eating disorders, but the other day I tried to make myself puke, because they treat food like poison.
I was wondering if you could reblog this if you think this sounds unhealthy, because I keep trying to talk myself out of thinking that it is.
Have you tried talking to another family member or someone close to the family who might be able to try to intervene on your behalf? If you go to a school counselor make sure you tell them that you’re looking to help your family eat more healthy and how to approach your parents, don’t tell them your parents are preventing you from eating unless you want child services knocking on your door and having the whole threat of foster system home deal (speaking from experience it’s a therapist/counselor’s job to contact them if anyone under age reports any sort of abuse from the parents).
This is absolutely unhealthy and it is abuse. Your parents may not realise that as they are obsessed with losing weight to a point that is damaging emotionally and physically.
If you don’t have a confidant you can rely on to help sit your parents down, you may have to be the one to step up, for you and your sibling. Show studies and reports of a healthy diet from nutritionists, volunteer to go to a nutritionist together, explain that you and your sister feel emotionally and physically trapped and while you share their goals of weight loss, you want to be healthy, while they have gone from one end of the unhealthy spectrum to the other. If your family has a history of eating disorders, maybe you should mention how that family member also behaved. Maybe they sought treatment for their condition, maybe one of them recognised their condition and could help?
In the worst case scenario, if you feel that this abuse if continuing in a fashion that will leave you or your sister going hungry for meals, it would be wise to contact a family friend or school counselor and have child services come to address the situation with your parents. You only want the best for your family, as I can tell, and especially for your sister, your parents unhealthy obsession with weight loss cannot continue in this fashion if you and your sister are to grow with healthy eating habits and self-esteem.
My mother suffers from bulimia and anorexia, depending on the week. She’s always had severe body dysmorphia that she would in turn push on to me, and I’m twice her size. From the comments about what I was eating to trying to dictate what I should eat and when I should eat and how fast or slow I should eat. It was very difficult to approach the situation because I didn’t want my mom to have a manic episode (as she is very bipolar). Well, she DID have a manic episode when I broached the subject, but it was more I think of what she felt about herself than what she felt about me. I had multiple fights with her in order to gain my food independence and it was truly a fight. Sometimes I still have this battle with her and I’m 26 and live on a different continent.
I used to sneak food after she’d gone to sleep. I hid food underneath my bed, I probably actually ate MORE than I would’ve had she just stopped adding this stress about food, fat, and weight loss onto me. Sometimes after I learned to drive I would say I was going to a friends house and I’d go to sit in a parking lot of a fast food restaurant to eat something because I didn’t want her to know I was eating.
I hope you are able to gain control over your own health again, because this sort of action by your parents is abuse. They’re probably doing it out their own warped self-image of themselves and what they need to do to reach their goals, so they believe they are doing this for your own good because they love you and they want you to reach your goal the way they are—which they view as healthy even though it’s not.
If talking with them doesn’t go well, I would seriously try to get someone else involved. Had I done that, my mom probably would’ve backed off. There wasn’t anything I could do to help her overcome her eating disorders because she didn’t want to be helped. I hope your parents are different and I hope that you and your sister are able to straighten this situation out with your parents.